This storybook will focus on the Doctor from the BBC Show Doctor Who.
Hi! My name is Chelsee Aguirre . I just started my senior year here at OU and I am from Hydro, OK which is a really small town. My high school graduating class was only thirty-two students! I'm majoring in Psychology and minoring in Human Relations and I plan on going to graduate school for Higher Education Administration after I graduate and work in student affairs and hopefully eventually become a dean of a college! This semester I am taking a graduate class from OU's Adult and Higher Ed program, and I am a little nervous about it, but mainly excited since it's what I want to do as my career. I am also a TA for a gateway class, which I think is going to make for a great semester. In my spare time I enjoy reading (Harry Potter is my favorite ), listening to Broadway soundtracks (Hamilton, Book of Mormon, Wicked, and so many more), getting overly attached to fictional TV show characters because I love Netflix (Doctor Who, The Office - which I am actually watching as a ...
Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteI can already tell that your project is going to be so interesting. I have not personally watched Dr. Who, but my sister loves it and has been trying to get me to watch it forever. Your post has inspired me to finally try to dive into it! The way you have tied your own interests into your project is so unique and creative. Your introduction was absolutely amazing! It truly made me want to keep going and to check out all of the material that you were going to provide during your project. This is definitely one that I will be book marking so that I can follow along with it. I think the introduction is so important. It tells what your project is going to be about. Not only that, but it gives a little insight on your own personality. You have done that perfectly! Great work!
Hi Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteI definitely can see your passion for Doctor Who in your introduction, and I bet that passion will help you create great stories for your storybook! I have not seen Doctor Who myself, but kind of like Kayleigh said, your introduction makes me want to check out the series for myself. Whenever I have time, I will be sure to check it out so that I can have greater context as to what you are writing about. My only critique is about grammar. I think I saw a few places that may lack a needed comma or needed one removed. Dealing with commas can be confusing; I know I probably use more than I should. And there were some places where you mixed up the tenses. I am guilty of that, too.
Nonetheless, I look forward to seeing how you develop your storybook! It is a great concept, and I am excited to see your passion show in your work!
Hi Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I want to say that I really like the design of your page. I can see you put a lot of time into it. Your introduction of Doctor Who is very sufficient for somebody that has never heard of him, like me. You made him sounds so interesting. I think you’re very creative by linking the show you’re currently watching to the assignment of this class. I like how you ask a question about his ability of surviving over 2000 years. It makes the readers think critically and want to continue reading your story in order to find out the correct answer. However, I do have a suggestion for you. I know that you will be telling about his adventures throughout this storybook, but I think you can tell the readers a little bit more about what kind of adventures will be there. I enjoyed reading your introduction and I look forward to read more of your stories.
Hey Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteThe layout looks great so far, my only suggestion would be to create a separate page for the introduction reading aside from the title, name, description of the class, etc. The context itself is awesome. I love that you decided to create a storybook based on Doctor Who! Not to mention, this gives you an incredible way to travel through time and places. I'm so curious what you're going to make of this, and how Sita and Rama will be involved, and I can't wait to see the relations you make between Doctor and Sita/Rama.
I also love the way you ended the introduction. This really helps the reader get a feel for what you're wanting to do with this story, and basically just sums up the Doctor in once sentence!
Anyways, you have a great start on your project, and I'm excited to continue reading and see where his adventures take him (and everyone else)!
Great job!
Hi, Chelsee! I really love the idea behind your story - I think it would be SUPER cool to see how you incorporate Dr. Who into the Ramayana! I also really like your introduction. At first, when I was reading it, I didn't really understand how it would go together with the Ramayana (I don't really know much about Dr. Who), but as I continued reading your introduction, everything fell in place for me. I think one thing you could improve on to help the reader is by giving more of a preface of the Ramayana - you mention that Dr. Who runs into Rama and Sita, but if you gave more of a sneak-peek at what exactly they will run into (exile, kidnapping, etc.) then that you could help the reader better have an understanding of what to look forward to. Great job overall!
ReplyDeleteHello Chelsee! The creativity behind the beginning of your stories is awesome and one of the most creative ones I have read yet! At first, I will say I was a little lost to what you were getting at but towards the end I an "Oh I see" moment ! You provided a wonderful background to the setting and characters. It will be interesting to see the stories you come up with when you incorporate the time travel with Sita and Rama. It would be cool if you could somehow make Dr.Who play Rama at some point in your story just for one of his life times. Then he can reflect on his decisions he made in that story/lifetime. You could even have a deja vu story and maybe have him talk about how he would have done things differently. Good job and I hope your creative juices keep flowing !
ReplyDeleteHi Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteI would have never thought to incorproate Dr. Who into Ramayana, but the idea seems solid! It will be fun to see his perspective on things that happened so long ago, because I know I had some confusion when reading about some interesting values and beliefs the culture depicted in Ramayana had (like Rama almost killing Sita because he didn't believe that she hadn't laid with Ravana). I think that you can turn this into a really creative and fun project!
The only constructive feedback I really have to give at this point is to just maybe take a little extra time to proofread your writing, because I found a few grammatical errors! I saw other comments mentioning them, but I thought I'd actually point a few of them out to you so you can fix them (that is the whole point of constructive feedback right?).
You wrote: "A long, long time ago an alien from another planet name Gallifrey was born and their known as Time Lords." "Their" should be "they are".
You wrote : "This time machine allow him to travel in space and in time, it is also bigger on the inside. " "Allow" should be "allows" or "allowed" depending on what tense you are writing in.
But other than some small grammar fixes, I think you are off to a great start, I look forward to reading more about Dr. Who's adventures in ancient India.
Hi Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw the title of your storybook, I immediately had to read it. I have really, really wanted to start watching Doctor Who for a long time, but I'm so intimidated by it! It's exactly the kind of show that I like, and I know the fans are fanatical, which is usually a pretty good sign that it's awesome. But, I have no idea where to start. So, your storybook will provide me with an excellent opportunity to learn something about it, and maybe I will finally be able to work up the nerve to dive in! Your site is wonderful. I really like the way that you set it up. Your pictures are awesome, and it's really organized and easy to navigate. The idea of incorporating Doctor Who into the Ramayana is creative and unique, I guarantee that no one will have anything like it! I really look forward to reading the rest of your stories!
HI Chelsea,
ReplyDeleteThis is great way to incorporate Ramayana into Doctor Who! I would have never thought of such an idea! At first, when I was reading your story, I wasn't really sure how you were going to incorporate Indian Epics into this, but as I read on it was clear. You made a great introduction, it drew me in instantly and wanted to keep reading more. There were few spelling mistakes and grammar fragments. I did not really understand this sentence " Not only does can it do that but it is also bigger on the inside." Did you mean to say, "Not only can it do that but it is also bigger from inside." I would just revise that particular sentence one from time and then also go over the whole intro to fix those minor mistakes. Otherwise, you have a great plan and I wonder how you will create stories! I am excited to read them! Good luck!
Hey Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteI am happily surprised to see such a unique cross over as your subject matter. I used to watch the doctor who series obsessively and I can see exactly how it would fit so well into this kind of project. I am sure you can come up with many different stories to have the doctor pop into.
I am curious which doctor you are planning on using in your story and more specifically which companions you wish to use. i think that may be something to include in your introduction. The only other thing I would suggest is to maybe spend less time on introducing the Doctor's backstory and a little more time talking about the Indian epic and those characters since they will no doubt be just as important as the doctor.
Chelsee, I am super intrigued by your choice in storybook! I have never seen Doctor Who, so I may not understand the story's references completely, but I hope to watch the show one day, especially since I see it just about everywhere online. Maybe your cross over will help push me to watch the show even more! I like that you titled it the "Doctor Who Epics" as well. Though I haven't seen the original series, your introduction provided a great preview and explanation for what to understand and expect out of the stories. I do wish that there was a tad more explanation about the Indian Epics portion aside from Rama and Sita's encounter. More so along the lines of who the Doctor could be? Or that could be the mystery in itself. What do you mean by "Doctor it's next stop, Everywhere?" Maybe you could better elaborate as the stories are added, but until then, I can't wait to see what's in store!
ReplyDeleteHey Chelsee,
ReplyDeleteJust by reading your introduction it really seems that you are interested in your topic! You gave a lot of back story and setup the idea of the storybook really well. This cross over really will be interesting to read and see where you go with it. It looks like you chose the Ramayana as the main story that you will be crossing with. There is so many option of what you could write about and details that you could include in your future stories. Do you plan on changing the course of the Ramayana and having the Doctor actively participate in the battle and change the outcome or will he be much more of an observer. You have already peaked my interest.
The writing style was also very fluid in my opinion, but going back to what I said a few sentences ago. I am a little confused on what the overall arching story that will be conveyed through the Doctor.
Hey Chelsee!!
ReplyDeleteI think you and I both know why I picked your project to look through this week. ☺ For everyone else, we are just pretty good friends outside of class! But wow, I really loved your project. I can really see your personality shining through your writing and that is just so cool to me. I like that you made the theme of your project something that interest you. That has to make writing so much more fun. But your website looks so good and clean. It was really easy to navigate and figure out where I am going. As for your actual writing, it was great. Your introduction was a really good way to understand where you project is going. And I really enjoyed your version of the story. It was cool that you kept certain parts of the story the same but added your own twists. I can’t wait to read more!!
Wow, Chelsee!! I LOVE DR. WHO so this was amazing to read. I think my favorite Doctor is still #10 though (David Tennant holds a special place in my heart) but I loved Matt Smith's character as well! He was so goofy and the way you described him in your story fit right in with his personality. I love that you added a link to the noise of the TARDIS too, for people who may have never seen the show. I was actually thinking of doing a Doctor Who story in my portfolio too, so that's another reason I love your project. I just noticed a few grammatical errors here and there, but I think the previous comments have also mentioned those; they're quick fixes though and they definitely do not take away from your story. Overall, I also like your page theme; it's simple, but perfect for the Doctor Who theme. The pictures are great as well :) I really enjoyed reading your storybook and good luck on the rest of it!
ReplyDeleteHi Chelsee! Wow, I really enjoyed reading your portfolio. Your introduction was a perfect way to explain what to expect. Your concept is so much more different from the rest of the portfolios I’ve encountered. My favorite part in “The Crossing of Paths” is how you included the doctor comes into the story during Rama’s exile—how different and unexpected! I did wonder more about the personality about the doctor. What if you included more about his image and lifestyle for his character to develop more? Other than that, I thought you did a wonderful job making this story come to life. I also really enjoyed the image you picked because the doctor looks so goofy. Haha. I also liked how you included a sound! I’ve never seen something like that so far. I thought it was a cute little touch. I look forward to seeing your portfolio grow. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteHi Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteI really liked looking over your project. While I haven't seen Doctor Who I know the basic premise of the show. Using the show and the Ramayana together is such a creative crossover idea! I thought your introduction did a great job of giving background on the doctor for those who don't know the show at all. Additionally your first story was a really fun read! I liked the idea of almost replacing Rama's brother with the Doctor! I think both the introduction and the first story set you up nicely for your coming stories!
Reading through the first story I did notice a couple of grammar errors. You have a sentence that reads "As Rama and Sita continued to walk along a path near a stream minding their own business" which is a sentence fragment! Then you say "even though" when I think you meant to put "even through". You also have a sentence that reads "This was not a normal noise" and this should have a noun attached to it for clarity.
Overall great job and I look forward to reading more!
Elizabeth
Hey Chelsee,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love Doctor Who and love the fact that you chose to incorporate him into your stories. Also your I like how your introduction informs the reader on who the Doctor is, and that it provides the necessary information that the reader needs to know to be able to properly understand any references that may be brought up in the story. As for your first story I love how you added that clip with the TARDIS noise so people could be able to not only know what it sounds like but also be able to see how it appears. Your author’s note did a very good job at explaining why you didn’t include certain things in the story, and it does a very good job at explaining where you start off in the story about Rama and Sita. I also think it’s an interesting idea to replace Rama’s brother with the doctor, and I think it’ll probably me more fun and crazy for Rama and Sita that way. I look forward to reading more.
Hello Chelsee,
ReplyDeleteI read your introduction awhile back and I was super excited to read your project stories. I like how you have a Doctor Who theme for your project even though I have never watched it before. I actually have taken some pointers form how you wrote your authors note. You are very informative on the authors note. I think sometimes my explanations are vague. However, I thin k your authors note in "The Crossing of Paths" is great. It is important that the audience know the background of the characters and this story explained that perfectly. I noticed while reading Rama's and Sita's story that there is some spots that would lead you wondering, what was happening. I think since we have those moments we can use that and create an interesting story from it! I can not wait to read more of your stories. Keep it up !
Hi Chelsee,
ReplyDeleteI'm from the Myth/Folklore class, so I'm not familiar with the story of Rama and Sita. I appreciated you explaining part of the story, like Rama being in exile and Sita choosing to go with him, but I am curious as to why he is in exile. Also, how long have they been in exile when "The Crossing of Paths" starts? It would also be nice if there was more information and pictures on Rama and Sita on the home page so the reader has more of an idea of what to expect and more of a mental image of them. Perhaps even a brief, even one sentence summary would also be useful.
I think your crossover is very creative and logical, and I enjoyed the stories. I haven't seen much Doctor Who, but I liked the episodes I have seen. Thanks for not giving away spoilers :).
Hi Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteI was so excited about your story that when I saw you'd added to it, I had to come read your new stories! I like the way that you basically gave the Doctor Lakshmana's place in the story. I would like to see a few more pictures, maybe to represent Rama and Sita within the story, although I really love all the the Doctor Who pictures. They provide an excellent visual to who he is. I especially liked the little sound clip that you incorporated to illustrate the noise that the TARDIS made! Your authors notes are really good, and I think they give a good idea of why you didn't use some aspects of the story and what you changed, as well as background for those of us who are unfamiliar with Doctor Who. There were a couple of places that were a little more vague, so a bit more information could be helpful, but I'm an author's note junky, so I always think that more is better. I'm really enjoying your storybook and I'll be sure to come back to read more!
Hi,Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteI think your crossover idea is interesting, and I’m excited to see what you have in store. I’m not incredibly familiar with the tale of Ramayana, or Indian Epics in general but I am somewhat informed in the Doctor Who department. I like the idea of the trouble coming after the Doctor arrives, that’s kind of how it usually how it goes. The Crossing of Paths was a great introduction to the characters and the incorporation of the Doctor was pretty spot-on. I would have liked to see some image of Rama and Sita, the current images help to understand the Doctor character and addition. In The Power of Love, there were some parts of the story that I feel didn’t flow well. The plot of that story was great, reading your author’s note allowed me to see how you fit the Doctor in the tale. Overall, I enjoyed the idea of your storybook and the stories. There are a few changes that could be made to make it flow better, but great work so far.
I also hate to be this guy, I know that it’s incredibly vital to the plot and fitting for the set. But the screwdriver doesn’t work on wood, so I feel as though it should be mentioned in the side note.
Hi Chelsee! Adding in the Doctor was a bold move, but so far it's working! I've seen a few episodes, so I at least understand what's going on with the TARDIS and his various tools. I think making him the main character makes for an interesting twist, and takes some of the pressure off of Rama as well. I like that he's still causing trouble, even in the world of the Ramayana. I think it would be interesting to label this world as an alternate universe since it's only taking place in the epic rather than in real life. I also think it would be interesting to make Rama his next companion!
ReplyDeleteAs for the stories and their content, you did a great job at keeping faithful to the original content, but adding in the Doctor for humor and stylistic purposes. I can't wait to see what you write next!
Hey there Chelsee!
ReplyDeleteI visited your project about a month ago and I am checking in again to see how it has changed since then! I could immediately tell you’ve been getting to work. You have definitely added a couple stories since the last time I visited and they were GREAT! I actually have not seen Doctor Who but I am still able to follow along and enjoy with no problem. So you definitely are doing a great job with your details and explanations. I like how you stay close to the original stories but still throw your own theme in there. The slight twists make your stories so interesting. I like the simplicity of your pages because it is easy to navigate and read. But, they are still aesthetically pleasing. Your pictures also go perfectly with your stories. I really do not have anything to critique. It was really cool to see how much your project has grown since the last time I visited! Great job!
Hey Chelsee.
ReplyDeleteI would start out by saying that I have read your storybook in the past. However, when I last read it you only had one story and now you have two more. As a big fan of Doctor Who I really loved this story just because of that. I really like these stories in general though. I think my favorite out of all of these has probably got to be the second one because I think it was the most characteristic of the doctor. I like the fact that you do a good job of explaining the world of the doctor to you reader like when you explained the sonic screwdriver. Your author’s notes are really good at explaining the differences between the original story and yours. You are also really good at explaining the differences between the Doctor in Doctor Who and in your stories. Like with how the sonic screwdriver works on wood in the stories even though it does not in Doctor Who. I really like your stories and hope to read more of your stories.
Hey Chelsee,
ReplyDeleteI came back to read your new stories, and once again I think you have done an excellent job with your storybook. I really enjoy the crossover between Doctor Who and The Ramayana and think it was such a great idea. I really liked having the Doctor basically replace Lakshmana from the original narrative and then giving him his own specific narrative as well. I do think you could highlight the storyline that the doctor thinks Rama is a time lord a little more. In the second story I'm not sure that you mention it at all. Also you use the word beautiful 3 times in the first two sentences of your second story. You might want to change two of those uses to synonyms of beautiful to add some variety to your word choice. Otherwise I thought the writing and the stories were excellent. You did a great job and I am so glad I came back to read your newest stories.
-Elizabeth
Hey Chelsee,
ReplyDeleteI read your intro a while back and had not really gotten a chance to read any of the stories so for this week I read your stories, The Crossing of paths and The Power of Love. In the first story, I was amazed by the story context. Everything flew so well, the way you incorporated Dr. who worked out great with the story. I liked how you also incorporated a noise for that strange thing that Rama and Sita heard. The Power of Love was also very well thought out. You not only added new details from Dr. who but also kept the old story. It all tied together great and you explained things like screwdriver to people who were not familiar with that type of a tool. Overall, you did a great job writing your stories, I especially loved the Dr. who twist to the epics. I hope to read the rest of it next time. Great job and good luck with rest of the project.